The Iowa Distraction
by TeaGirl42
Summary: What might have happened if Olivia couldn't wait until after the primary...
1. Arrival

**_A random little bit of 'something' that I wrote after Barba and Olivia's video chat and have only just had the chance to edit. I'm not sure where it is going yet - and I doubt it will even get a follow up for a couple of weeks - but it was just knocking around so I thought I would share it! The rating is quite low at the moment but I have a feeling it might raise significantly for future chapter/chapters._**

* * *

Rafael Barba walked through to his makeshift office and groaned at the sight of the papers piled on his desk. Had they grown overnight or had a decent nights sleep merely lessened his workload in his mind?

"Dystopian nightmare…" He grumbled to himself with a wry smile and then walked over to pick up a few pages of what he felt sure must contain fresh horrors. He put his coffee down on the desk and then dropped down into his chair.

He actually enjoyed his job, he reminded himself with a slow intake of breath. Being part of the push back against this insanity gave him an authentic sense of purpose. As he picked up his coffee and took a sip he thought back to his video call with Olivia for what must have been the 100th time in three days.

He smiled.

"Found something?" Lizzie asked as she walked through into his office.

"No, just thinking…" He said distractedly and then seemed to snap himself out of it and focus back on the task at hand.

"You seem to be doing that a lot over the last couple of days. Smiling randomly at _nothing_ and...thinking..." She smirked and sat down on a chair opposite his desk.

He looked up at her over the paper he was now attempting to read and raised an eyebrow, "If you're looking for gossip you've come to the wrong place…I have _nothing."_

Lizzie smiled and ran her tongue over the inside of her cheek, "Now, you see if anyone had asked me about you a few days ago I would have said the same thing…but there's something going on with you."

Barba glanced at her flatly, raised an eyebrow and then looked back at his work without a word.

"Come on, who's the lucky woman? Lucky man? You've got to give me something! I know you were talking to someone on a video call the other day…this wistful longing seems to have…"

"Please! I do not _do_ wistful longing!" Barba cut in with exasperation.

Lizzie laughed, "No, you didn't do wistful longing, you were the last person on earth I would have ever associated with wistful longing...but over the last few days…" She smiled at him teasingly.

"I was talking to a friend in New York, okay? It really was nothing," he brushed it off and hoped that Lizzie would too.

Lizzie rolled her eyes, "I've dated more than my fair share of 'nothing' over the years, boss, and whatever that was was not nothing."

Barba shook his head with irritation, "You're in communications, Lizzie, that was barely a sentence. Are you sure you're working for the right side?"

Lizzie smirked, she was not about to fall for her bosses attempts at distraction.

He sighed, "She's not just some woman, Lizzie. I was talking to Olivia, she's one of…well, actually she _is_ my closest friend…but she's been having a tough time lately and I was concerned. I just wanted to check-in."

_"The_ Olivia?" Lizzie asked with fascination and leaned forward to prop her elbow on his desk and her chin on her palm in exaggerated interest.

"There is only one Olivia," Barba tried to brush her off again, "…so I guess that would make her_ the_ Olivia, yes. Now are we going to actually get some work done today, or have you become completely preoccupied with my private life?"

"I've become 'preoccupied' with the fact that you appear to have a private life," Lizzie said with a soft but teasing laugh, "…you could have fooled me."

"Lizzie…" Barba growled softly.

"Rafael, you can't just…" Lizzie started to ask but then was cut off by Marcus arriving abruptly in the office.

"Boss?" He asked distractedly, a breakfast sandwich in one hand and his open laptop hanging from the other.

"What is this? Central Station?" Barba asked and nodded at the piles of work on his desk. "I _do_ have work to do. You know I'm starting to think back warmly to an era when people wouldn't dare just randomly walk into my office like they owned the place." His mind automatically drifted back to a certain lieutenant doing just that.

"There! You did it again!" Lizzie laughed and then turned to look at Marcus. "Tell me you saw that?"

Marcus looked nonplus, "He…_smiled?"_

"He smiled wistfully," Lizzie corrected with a grin, "…that was a _wistful_ smile!"

Barba rolled his eyes, "I'm surrounded by idiots."

Marcus took a bite of his sandwich and almost dropped his laptop, a move that would have made Barba wince just a few weeks before but he had quickly learned was standard.

"Did you want something, Marcus? Or did you just come in here to trail your breakfast detritus all over my floor?" Barba asked his new friend pointedly and then nodded down at some sandwich filling near his feet.

"I wanted…" Marcus shuffled his laptop and sandwich into one arm and then pointed over his shoulder at the hall behind him, "…I wanted to know what you wanted me to do with your meeting?"

"Do with my meeting?" Barba said picking up his phone and scrolling through. "Do I have a meeting?"

Marcus bit into his sandwich and shrugged, "You have…a visitor? So I guess…"

"You guess?" Barba asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Someone to see you…" Marcus tried to clarify, "…she asked to speak to you." He paused and then added, "Actually, she can't be in the diary because she said something about how if this wasn't a good time she could come back later…or…"

"Marcus, did you at least get a name? Is it someone from the GOP? Because I haven't got the time or inclination to…" Barba looked back down at his work.

"Benson? Sounds like she's from New York, so I guess she could be GOP…"

Barba's mouth dropped open so comically that even Marcus seemed to notice something was up.

"Benson? You mean on the phone?" He clarified as he stood up behind the desk.

"No…out there..." Marcus nodded in the direction of the front of the building. "You want me to put her off for a few hours while you get this lot sorted?" He nodded at Barba's desk and then leapt out of the way as his boss rushed passed him.

"You can't be serious?" Barba called back towards them as he vanished down the hall.

Marcus looked at Lizzie with a puzzled expression, "When am I not?"

Lizzie ignored Marcus and sprang up to follow Barba.

Suddenly finding himself alone in Barba's office Marcus looked around, shrugged and then turned to trail after them.

Barba raced around the corner and then drew to a sudden stop when he arrived in the hallway/front-office and found Olivia Benson leaning on the door frame of the building entrance, she was looking out of the front windows onto the parking lot.

"Jesus Christ, Liv?!" Barba asked with a tone somewhere between shock, confusion and joy. He didn't give her time to speak, as she turned toward him with a smile he simply wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace.

"Hi…" she replied as her arms wrapped around him, "…is this a bad time?"

He pulled back and tilted his head to look into her eyes, "A bad time? What on earth are you talking about? How are you even here? In Iowa!"

"I don't know…" Olivia laughed and looked completely bewildered. "Things have been a little difficult lately, everything sort of piling up…and we just had a case that…" She sighed and then continued, "That video chat we had? It was the first time I've felt…I don't know, felt like _myself_ for the longest time...when I'm not with Noah, of course. I realised that I needed to take a break and when I spoke to you the other day…" she paused and then finished, "…it's a long time until the primary and I guess that I needed to see my friend."

Barba smiled, he looked shocked but genuinely thrilled. "You're really here to see me?"

Olivia laughed, "I'm in Iowa, Rafael. Why else would I be here?"

He turned and looked back at Lizzie and Marcus. Lizzie had a huge grin on her face and Marcus just looked…perplexed.

"I can't believe you're really here!" Barba said looking back at Olivia and suddenly realising that he still had his hands on her hips. He really needed to step back. "I mean, how long are you here? Where's Noah?"

"He's staying with Carisi for a few days…" Olivia said with a smirk.

Barba raised an eyebrow, "Carisi, really?"

"Well, they've always been close, and he offered and…well…he's a big impressive ADA now, so he has to grow up at some point right?" She grinned. "Or at least _we_ have to start treating him like a grown-up."

Barba laughed and shook his head, "So, how long are you here?"

"A few days? I didn't really make any plans. I just asked for some personal time, then Carisi offered to take Noah for a few days and suddenly I was booking my flight. I was on the plane before I even started to wonder if this is a strange thing to do. This is weird, right? Just turning up like this…"

Barba just smiled at her and shook his head slowly, "I don't even know how to process the fact that you're actually here!"

"I'm sure this is a bad time, I just got off the flight and came straight here. I can go find a room somewhere, maybe we could meet for a drink later?" She paused and then added, "I mean unless you already have plans?"

"I'd cancel them," he replied quickly, "…not that I have any to cancel."

"Smooth…" Lizzie smirked with amusement behind them.

Barba turned to find her leaning on the wall with her arms crossed, grinned still fixed in place. He looked down and saw a medium-sized bag near Olivia's feet, then looked back at Lizzie. "I'm taking the day, can you manage?"

"You don't have to…" Olivia started, but Barba was already picking up her bag, "…and_ I_ can carry that."

He pulled it away from her reaching hand and his eyes sparkled as he met her steady gaze, "My mother brought up a gentleman."

"Your mother brought up a pain in the ass," Olivia retorted with a smile, "…you're not my valet."

Barba looked back at Lizzie, whose grinned seemed to have spread from ear to ear. She waved them both away with a flick of her wrist, "Like you'd be any use to us now, go play with your friend."

He rolled his eyes, then turned to look at Olivia and nodded toward the exit.

"You're sure?" Olivia asked Lizzie.

Lizzie laughed and shook her head, "We're more than capable of sailing this ship for the day, to be honest, he often just weighs us down…"

Barba glared at her and she laughed, "Go, boss!"

As Barba and Olivia turned to walk out of the door Marcus looked at Lizzie and shrugged, "What was all that about?"

Lizzie chuckled and waggled her eyebrows, "Oh, I'd say…_nothing."_

_TBC..._


	2. We Need To Talk

It took a couple of minutes before Olivia finally reclaimed her bag, then they strolled down the sidewalk in comfortable silence for a while. They were both trying to process the fact that she was even here.

"So…this is Iowa then?" Olivia observed after a few minutes.

"Well, more precisely, this is Des Moines…" Barba retorted with a smirk.

"I know, I did book the flight.…" Olivia swung out her bag to knock his leg teasingly.

"Really, why are you here, Liv?" He asked.

"I guess I just…" she sighed, "…would you accept that I needed to take some time out for myself?"

"Trying to 'find' yourself?" Barba joked lightly, but when she looked up at the sky and sighed he felt bad for seeming to take her comment so casually.

Olivia slowed a little, looked at him seriously and tilted her head, "Maybe…but I guess I thought I'd settle for finding you first."

Barba didn't answer, just slowed to a complete stop and looked at her.

"It hurt when you left, Rafa. I understood why you had to do it and I knew that it would have been selfish of me to try to hold you back...genuinely selfish because I could only see the benefits for myself."

"Liv, I'm sorry, I…" He started but Olivia shook her head and continued.

"In many ways, you had become my solace from the rest of the world. No matter how much I love them, sometimes it feels like everyone else expects something _from_ me - my strength, my guidance, my empathy. All you ever needed from me was my friendship, so when I was with you I felt like I could stand down - like I didn't have to be badass Olivia Benson anymore. I could breathe…"

"Olivia…" Barba started regretfully.

"I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, Rafa. I'm just trying to explain that over the last few months I've started to feel overwhelmed, suffocated...and I guess I needed to breathe."

She closed her eyes, let out a long thoughtful sigh and Barba remained quiet, waiting for her to gather her thoughts and say what she needed to say.

"Remember those nights after work, when I would just turn up at your office? I wouldn't stay for long, I'd have a drink, talk about my day, listen to you talk about yours a little and then go home?"

Barba nodded slowly.

"Well, maybe that's what this is. Maybe I just needed half-an-hour with my friend after a…" she sucked in a breath and tried to control her emotions, "…after an _exceptionally_ long crappy day."

Barba's eyes welled with tears, he knew what leaving her behind had cost him and wasn't naive enough to believe that Olivia wouldn't miss him, but he was completely astounded by the gap she was claiming he had left in her life.

"I wish I could have done things differently…" He paused and then shook his head with frustration, "No, I wish I _had_ done things differently, I made my own choices."

"You did what was best for you...you didn't owe me anything," Olivia maintained.

"I'm struggling to believe that either of those statements is true," Barba disputed.

She smiled at him, "Two years, Rafa, that's a lot of water under the bridge. It seems longer in a way…" She reflected.

"Yet somehow it feels like no time at all?" Barba completed her thought.

Olivia laughed a little sadly, "I guess. I missed this, you know? There's no…" she paused, clearly stopping herself from saying something, and then concluded, "…there's no bullshit with you, it's so easy."

"I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say easy…" Barba arched an eyebrow.

"The pressures came from outside, Rafa," Olivia pointed out, "…with you and I...sure we squabbled, but even that felt natural."

Ever the investigator he couldn't stop himself from asking, "What were you going to say? Before… There's no what?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes, wishing for once that Rafael Barba couldn't read her quite so well. "I guess I was going to say that there are no complications, but that would not be entirely honest…"

Barba was about to ask her what she meant by that, but then she looked around as if suddenly registering their unfamiliar surroundings.

"Where exactly are we right now?"

Barba nodded at a building across the street, "My place, I thought you could leave your things here, then I have somewhere I'd like to take you."

"Maybe I should get a room first?" She suggested.

"You're not getting a room, Liv, you're staying with me," he asserted in a tone that allowed for no arguments. "I'm not taking no for an answer, I'll take the couch and you can take the bed," he nodded over and they crossed the street.

"I'm certainly not kicking you out of your own bed!" Olivia protested.

"Well, I'm not letting you stay in a hotel," he rejoined. "Besides, if you're only here for a few days I want to make the most of my time with you. Two years is a long time and…" he paused and then concluded, "…I've missed you."

Olivia just looked at him thoughtfully and then slowly nodded.

"Does that mean that you are willing to let me take the couch?" Barba asked dryly.

"It means that_ I'll_ sleep on the couch," she compromised, "…but I will stay at your place."

He chuckled softly, "You know, it really is very good to see you…" He smiled and his whole face lit up in a way she could rarely remember seeing when they worked together.

"You look happy," she observed with a contemplative smile.

"I am," he nodded as he turned to show her upstairs, "…I'm really happy to see you."

* * *

They dropped off her bag and soon were back on the sidewalk, Barba led the way as they chatted amiably, easily slipping into their old rhythms.

"I like what you've done with the place," she teased referring to his apartment - complete with plain walls, generic art prints and basic wooden furniture.

Barba smiled, "I rented the place furnished, it's cheaper than a room and at least I have my own space. There was no point getting somewhere too pricey though, not just for a few weeks."

"Rafael Barba opting for a no-frills lifestyle? I never thought I'd see the day!" She laughed and bumped his arm as they walked. "What about impressing visitors? No…" She paused awkwardly,"…no dates?"

"Dates?" Barba asked with amusement. "In _Iowa?"  
_

"I'm sure they do date in Iowa…" Olivia pointed out with a cheerful yet slightly strained tone.

Barba smiled and nodded but then shrugged, "You're my only visitor, Liv…and as the last person I ever expected to see it never even occurred to me that I would need to impress you."

Olivia laughed and shook her head, "I don't care about your decor, Rafa, I'm here to see you." They walked for several minutes until Olivia asked, "Where exactly are you taking me?"

He nodded into the near distance, "The Botanical Gardens, a perfect place to relax and get out of your own head for a few hours. I came here last week, there's a beautiful water garden that I knew you would love…I never imagined that I would have the opportunity to share it with you though."

"You thought about me? Here in the gardens?" Olivia asked, clearly surprised.

Barba laughed and shook his head, "Out of sight does not mean out of mind, Liv, you never left my thoughts. You're…" he frowned with frustration and then tried again, "You're…" his voice trailed off.

"I've missed you, too," Olivia completed and Barba fought the urge to put his arms around her. "The occasional phone or video call is not enough, the last few months have taught me that I can't keep putting my life on hold."

* * *

The weather was chilly but bright and sunny as they walked along a path by the water.

"You're right, it is beautiful…" Olivia said softly, letting her arm brush against his as they strolled along.

Barba watched her looking over the water and smiled, wondering if he had ever seen anything in nature as beautiful as her…but stopping himself from speaking the words out loud.

They sat on a bench together and looked out at the water.

After a few minutes, Barba broke the comfortable silence, "How is Noah?"

She smiled and nodded, "Really good, he already has plans to take the dance world by storm."

Barba smiled a little proudly and nodded, "Does he know where you are?"

Olivia took a few seconds to answer, "No, I…" she paused and glanced at him, "…I passed on your 'regards' - I just felt it better that I didn't tell him about this."

"You didn't want him to know that you would be seeing me?" Barba couldn't hide the hurt or confusion in his voice.

She sighed and bit her lip a little before trying to explain, "He really likes you, Rafa, but it's been two years. Two years is a long time in a young boy's life…"

"I understand, of course, I don't expect him to really remember me, or…" Barba started to push aside the stabbing pain in his heart but then she cut in.

"Of course he remembers you, Rafa!" She realised that she was raising her voice, then tried to calm herself when she saw the shock and pain on her friend's face. "The first year…every birthday, every holiday…he started out asking _when _you would arrive, then he moved on to_ if _you would be there…finally, he stopped asking altogether. I thought maybe he was starting to move on - then the other day, on my birthday, he asked if you were ever going to come home again, or if you really had gone away forever."

"Liv…" Barba's eyes were closed, almost as though trying to hide from her words.

"He's still just a little boy…" Olivia sighed, not wanting to hurt her friend but knowing that he needed to hear the truth. "Noah doesn't need his hopes building up again and if I'd told him that I was seeing you he never would have settled at Sonny's."

"I'm sorry, Liv," Barba said quietly, "it never even occurred to me that Noah would have been hurt or…"

"Rafa, you don't need to apologise, you had absolutely no responsibility to Noah and you were perfectly within your rights to move away and to start a new life…but I need to protect him."

"From me…" he clenched his jaw with frustration.

"From how much he cares for you and from how much losing you again would hurt him. Even if I'm not…" Olivia trailed off and didn't complete her sentence.

After several quiet minutes, Barba spoke again, "Do you want to talk? Or just chat about nothing? Or would you like me to shut up and let you enjoy the peace and quiet?"

Olivia laughed and surprised him by reaching out and taking his hand, linking their fingers together, "I didn't fly over a thousand miles to ask you to shut up."

He laughed softly now, "You know what I mean…"

She smiled and nodded, "I also didn't come to you expecting a bandaid to heal all of my wounds, I'm here because I realised that seeing you would make me happy…I'm tired of never allowing myself that."

"You wish you'd made different choices? With Tucker?" Barba asked, the question sticking in his throat a little.

Olivia stood and walked to the edge of the water, leading Barba to stand and follow her. When he joined her she linked her arm in his and stood silently for a few moments, then shook her head. "We didn't want the same things, what happened doesn't change that. Our problems weren't just about work, deep down I know that if we were right I could have done more to make it work…and so could he."

"You loved him," Barba said gently.

"I did…" she agreed, "…but we both know that there are different kinds of love. Some that are unhealthy, even if you can't see it at the time…and then some that ultimately are just not meant to be."

"Is there _anything_ that I can do for you?"

Olivia smiled at her friend, it was such a simple request, one that he had asked in numerous forms over the years, sometimes clearly…but often only recognised through the benefit of hindsight. Rafael Barba didn't always know the right thing to say or do, but he never stopped trying and that meant more than a thousand perfectly delivered lines or gestures.

"A hug would be really nice...?" She suggested with a smile.

Barba's eyes lit up now - was it really that simple? A hug? He smiled, turned toward her and held out his arms.

Olivia stepped into him and wrapped her arms around her friend. This was not a brief perfunctory hug, their arms wrapped deeply and securely. Her face fell against his shoulder and she closed her eyes, briefly wondering how long she was allowed to hold him, before pushing aside that thought and deciding that she didn't care.

She had flown over a thousand miles for this hug.

Olivia felt him step closer and one hand moved up to rest on the back of her head, she heard him breathe in near her neck and did the same, taking a moment to luxuriate in his familiar and calming scent. His free hand stroked smoothly up and down her back as she took yet another steadying breath. Warmth, familiarity, comfort, home…_and_…she controlled a sudden urge to press her mouth to his neck by biting her bottom lip.

"I've missed you," he repeated and held onto her firmly.

Olivia felt a tear slide down her cheek and she nodded silently against his shoulder.

* * *

They arrived back at his apartment and Olivia glanced at her things on the couch.

"Please take the bed," Barba tried again, "…I can sleep out here. I could change the sheets right now…"

She smiled at him, stopping herself from admitting that sleeping surrounded by his scent was the most tempting part of his offer.

"What do you want to do this evening?" She asked, sidestepping his request.

"What would _you_ like to do?" Barba turned the question onto her.

"Well, what would you be doing if I weren't here?" She tried a new tack.

"I don't know…" he looked around the apartment, "…working?"

"You must have something resembling a social life," Olivia laughed.

He smiled, "Well, I guess maybe going to the bar after work with Lizzie and Marcus…"

"Have you worked together long?" She sat on the couch now, genuinely interested.

"Lizzie, a little over a year. Marcus, I guess…maybe three months?" He shrugged and sat next to her.

"I liked Lizzie," Olivia smiled.

"You just liked the sass she was giving me," he smirked.

"That did endear her to me," she conceded. "Will they be at the bar this evening?"

He rolled his eyes, "Almost invariably…"

"Let's go!"

Barba looked at her with surprise and found that she was grinning. "Are you serious? You want to spend the evening in a bar with Lizzie and Marcus? You certainly didn't fly all the way out here for that torture!"

She smiled, just the idea had made him laugh so Olivia was liking this plan more and more by the second. "I came out here to see you, to spend some time with my friend…so I'd like to see how you spend your days, to get to know your colleagues."

Barba looked at her curiously and then shook his head as he reached for his phone, "I guess, whatever the lady wants…"

* * *

Barba stepped ahead and held open the door for Olivia, then rolled his eyes when he saw Lizzie waving with far too much enthusiasm from a table near to the bar.

They walked straight over and then Barba immediately regretted his haste when he realised that he was going to have to leave Olivia with his friends in order to go to get drinks.

"Lizzie Montgomery, Marcus Maloney - I'd like to properly introduce you to my good friend Olivia Benson, she's a Lieu…" he paused and smiled at her, then corrected himself, "sorry, Liv, a _Captain_ with the NYPD."

"Captain?" Lizzie said with a broad smile. "Impressive."

"Always…" Barba replied automatically and Lizzie smiled up at him broadly.

"Red?" He asked Olivia.

She nodded up at him gratefully, "You know what I like…"

Lizzie leaned into Marcus and whispered too quietly for either Olivia or Barba to overhear, _"I bet he does!"_

Barba saw the whisper and Marcus roll his eyes, he was already starting to regret this.

He looked between Olivia and his friends, then shot Lizzie a look that he could only hope expressed his desire that she did not run off at the mouth.

As soon as he was gone Lizzie leaned forward and grinned at Olivia, "Tell us_ everything!"_

Olivia looked a little taken aback but smiled at her warmly, "Everything?"

"Oh, come on! One video chat and he's walking around with a stupid smile on his face all week. Now you're here. What's going on?" Lizzie leaned in and grabbed hold of Olivia's forearm, then glanced up to see Barba standing at the bar, ordering their drinks while glancing back at the table nervously.

Olivia followed Lizzie's gaze, smiled at Barba and then looked back at her new friend, "I don't know what you mean, really…I'm just here to visit Rafael."

Lizzie arched an eyebrow, "Seriously? You're going with that line as well?"

"It's not a line, Lizzie," Olivia leaned back a little and was starting to wonder how long Barba was going to be at the bar. Maybe she was going to need back up? She looked towards Marcus who looked between the two women with a passive smile on his face.

"Come on, Olivia, he's a good looking man," Lizzie continued fearlessly, "…I mean, don't worry, he's not my type, but…"

"Lizzie…" Olivia started steadily.

"Not that you would need to worry, I've known Rafael for over a year and I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you…" She continued as those she really didn't value her own life.

Olivia still looked shocked when Barba returned moments later and placed a glass of wine down in front of her. "What did I miss?" He asked trying not to sound too nervous as he sat down.

He looked across to find Olivia looking terrifyingly speechless and then arched an eyebrow up at Lizzie.

"We were just becoming a little more…acquainted," Lizzie said with an innocent smile that made Barba even more nervous.

"Riiiight…" He frowned at Marcus, who held up his hands in surrender and said nothing.

"How was your day?" Barba asked them, hoping to move the conversation on from whatever had caused Olivia to look like she had seen a ghost.

"Good…" Marcus stepped in, "…we got a lot done, boss."

"Why don't you take a couple of days? While Olivia is here..." Lizzie suggested eagerly.

"Careful, Lizzie, I might think you're trying to get rid of me," Barba smirked and then looked regretfully at Olivia, "…I'd really like to, but I just can't. It's only tomorrow though and then I'm off for the weekend."

Olivia seemed to break out of the haze she had been in for a couple of minutes and smiled at him genuinely, "I didn't expect you to put your life on hold, Rafa, I'll be fine."

Barba watched Lizzie gaze at Olivia with an irritatingly dreamy expression.

"She calls you 'Rafa'?" Lizzie smiled at him and exaggeratedly bit her lip.

"Dios Lizzie, will you please stop acting like a teenage girl!" Barba snapped with frustration.

"Olivia, why don't you come into work with Rafael? We could always use a volunteer for the day…" Lizzie suggested undauntedly.

Olivia looked at Barba, "Would that be inconvenient?"

Barba shook his head, "Of course not, but you aren't here to…"

"I'd like to see what you do, if you think I could be of any help?" Olivia replied with a smile.

"Well…" Barba glanced towards Lizzie, "…I guess that would be nice, you and I working together again. I could set you up in_ my _office," he looked pointedly at Lizzie again, silently telling her that she needn't think that this would be her opportunity to play matchmaker.

Lizzie smiled knowingly and nodded.

"You're sure that I wouldn't be in your way?" Olivia checked.

"Never," Barba assured and Lizzie watched on with eager intrigue as the old friends exchanged a smile.

* * *

An hour later, Olivia excused herself to go to the restroom, then within a minute, Lizzie stood to follow.

_"Lizzie…"_ Barba warned her with a low tone.

"I need to go," she said innocently.

"Lizzie," Barba took a breath, "…I don't know what is going on with you - but as a friend, I am asking you to roll back whatever game you think you're playing."

"Game?" She asked with mock naiveté.

"Lizzie!" Barba snapped and Lizzie looked genuinely shocked, he had never spoken to her like that. He took a deep breath, "Listen, I'm sorry…but Olivia and her son, they mean more to me than I could even…" he trailed off and tried to gather his thoughts.

Lizzie looked at her friend with concern and then moved her seat a little closer to him, "Rafael?"

"She means _so_ much to me, Lizzie. She sees me as a friend, please don't play with fire, not with Olivia…" he looked at her with genuine anxiety.

Her heart broke for him, "Rafael, you're really in love with her, aren't you?"

"Lizzie, _please…"_ He asked, looking up to see Olivia walking back toward the table.

His friend shook her head and then leaned in to squeeze his hand. "I'm sorry, Rafael, I'll be good..." She promised sincerely and moved her seat back towards Marcus.

"So, how long are you here for?" Marcus asked Olivia politely as she sat back at the table.

Lizzie noticed how Olivia automatically shifted her seat closer to Barba.

"A few days, a friend is looking after my son so I don't want to take advantage. So, maybe Monday…?" Olivia suggested thoughtfully.

Barba smiled at her a little sadly, he knew she couldn't stay for long but hearing her confirm the day that she would be leaving felt very definitive.

"Drinks?" He looked around the table and they all nodded, he got up and walked to the bar, trying to brush off the dip in his mood.

Olivia looked at Lizzie, who had fallen very quiet. After the last time, she had expected the cross-examination to start as soon as Barba had left the table.

"You've never seen him look at anyone the way that he looks at me?" Olivia asked bluntly.

Lizzie glanced at Marcus nervously.

_"Lizzie?"_ Olivia asked again.

"I think I need to learn when to hold my tongue," Lizzie said simply and looked towards Barba at the bar.

"Did Rafael ask you not to talk to me?" Olivia said and turned to look at Barba, who saw her expression and suddenly looked a little apprehensive.

"It's really none of my business, Olivia, I had no right to talk to you the way I did. I've had a couple of drinks and I got carried away, I'm sorry," Lizzie smiled at her apprehensively.

Olivia looked doubtful and then leaned in, "You think Rafael is attracted to me?"

Lizzie looked at the table and picked at the label on her empty bottle.

"Because that's the impression you gave me…" Olivia pushed.

"Please, Rafael is a friend…" Lizzie squirmed uncomfortably.

"He's not 'attracted' to you," Marcus cut in, unable to watch his friend struggling. He knew how much her friendship with Rafael meant to Lizzie and couldn't bear to see it damaged by a little barroom banter. Olivia looked hurt for a few moments and then Marcus concluded, "He's in love with you, Olivia."

Both women looked shocked and glanced up to see Barba returning with their drinks.

Olivia stood up abruptly, "Rafa, we're leaving."

Barba looked baffled and stared between his three friends, "I just bought a round of drinks…"

"We're _leaving,"_ Olivia repeated, then surprised him by standing and walking toward the exit.

Barba turned and followed immediately, looking back at the table and glaring at Lizzie as he left - what the hell had she said?

Lizzie stared at him with an alarmed expression and shook her head as she watched them leave.

_TBC…_


	3. Ojos de Ángel

Barba caught up with Olivia standing on the sidewalk hailing a cab.

"Liv, what's going on? What happened in there?" He asked nervously as a car pulled up.

"This can wait until we're back at yours…" Olivia said a little sharply and Barba felt his heart speed up and a wave of nausea flow through his body.

He remained silent though, his fear leading him to do exactly as she asked rather than fall back on his usual instinct to talk himself out of any difficult situation.

They sat in silence as they were transported back to his temporary home; Olivia paid the fare before Barba even had the chance to offer then was gone without a word.

"In trouble with the Mrs?" The driver asked a stunned Barba.

He didn't answer, just climbed out and found Olivia already making her way up into his building.

Silence reigned as the ascended the stairs, then Barba fumbled to get out his keys and open the door.

As soon as the door was closed Barba swallowed hard and decided that all he could possibly do at this point was throw himself onto the mercy of the court.

He was still standing by the front door and watched as Olivia walked over to her things on the couch and then ran her fingers slowly over the straps of her bag.

"Liv, please, whatever happened back there you must know that I'm sorry…"

"You know what makes me a little frustrated? That you would even consider talking to someone else about this…" She said calmly.

"Liv?" His heart was still trying to burst out of his chest.

"But then who am I to tell you who you should be talking to? It's been two years…" she turned to look at him now and he was horrified to see tears shining in her eyes, "…and if you felt that you couldn't talk to me then I have to take some responsibility for that, right?"

Barba opened and closed his mouth like a guppy.

"Well?" She asked more sharply than she intended.

"What did she say to you?" Barba asked, desperately trying to make sense of what was happening right now and feeling like he was drowning.

"Lizzie? Nothing…" Olivia said simply and stepped towards him, "…it's more than clear that you spoke to her and ensured that she said absolutely _nothing_ to me."

Barba's brain tried to catch up, "This can't be about something _Marcus_ said to you?" He asked sounding as shocked as he felt.

"You know what I'm tired of, Rafael? I'm so tired of ignoring this constant ache in my heart, a nagging feeling that there is a void in my life that can never be filled. Life is too short. It's too short for games…but more than anything it is far too short to avoid taking risks, especially if the only outcome that truly terrifies you has already happened," Olivia spoke boldly.

"I'm not sure that I understand," Barba watched her cautiously.

"If you pushed aside all of your anxieties and insecurities...if you could just tell me exactly what you wanted, what would you say?" Olivia stepped forward again. "If there were no tomorrows and you had absolutely nothing to lose?"

"But that's not true right now is it, Liv?" Barba answered with a despairing tone. "I feel like I have _everything_ to lose."

Olivia gazed at her friend now and tilted her head; she could see how terrified he was and for the first time in almost thirty minutes she realised the gift that Marcus had given her. As soon as he had voiced the words out loud all of her doubts had disappeared. For some reason hearing the words from someone else's mouth had confirmed a truth that she hadn't dared herself to believe on her own…but Rafael wasn't there yet, he was still unsure, still terrified of messing this up and losing her…and she was unintentionally torturing him.

She took another step forward and lifted her hand to the side of his face, as she stroked over his beard her heart skipped a beat when she saw him flinch. Was he so strung out right now that he didn't know whether to anticipate a caress or a slap? She shook her head and a tear slid down her cheek, her palm stroking soothingly from his beard and down onto his neck.

Barba's mouth opened a little in shock and his breathing sped up.

"Only you can fill that void," Olivia told him softly, "...and when I realised that I left my son with a friend and jumped onto the first flight to Des Moines to tell you that I miss you. I miss you every single day and I'm so fucking tired of feeling like I'm doing this on my own because you aren't there to share my life. I love you, Rafael Barba."

Barba opened his mouth to try to form words, but none came.

"You're not speechless are you, Rafa_?"_ She smiled a little nervously and licked her lips. "I never thought I'd see the day."

He tried speech again and failed, then gasped as he felt her lips brush over his tentatively.

"Your friend told me that you love me…" She whispered against his lips.

Barba's brain misfired once more as he tried to get a grasp of what was happening, even as Olivia step forward and he found himself with his back pushed against the door.

"M-Marcus?" Barba experimented with speech.

Olivia smiled at him, her eyes roaming over his face and then settling on his lips. "I'm not going to kiss you again, Rafael, it's your turn."

Pushing aside the need to form sentences Barba groaned and brought his hands up to the side of her face, combing his fingers into her hair as he turned them both around and pushed Olivia against the wall next to the door.

She almost growled as he covered her mouth with his and, in fact, would have done if he hadn't taken sudden and complete possession of her. Olivia thoughtlessly let the wall take her weight and then lifted her leg up to hook around him, pulling him against her as she fell bonelessly into their kiss.

After what seemed like either seconds or hours exploring her mouth Barba's lips slowly moved across Olivia's jaw and then hungrily down her throat, his beard felt soft and tantalising against her skin and his hot lips left a wet trail that made her shudder.

"You're so fucking beautiful…" Barba murmured against her throat, causing Olivia to gasp and drop her head back against the wall.

She'd never felt this turned on in her life and he had barely even touched her.

Olivia gasped when his hand gripped her waist and he paused, "We can take a minute if you want? Or a lifetime if you need it…" he assured and brought his hand back to the side of her neck, his eyes meeting hers with a level of concern and love that took her breath away.

She shuddered in spite of the heat emanating from Barba's body and her face dropped heavily against his shoulder.

"Are you cold?" He asked affectionately, then ran his hand up her back and into her hair.

She smiled against his shirt, "No, Rafa…I'm _not_ cold."

He heard a wobble in her voice and frowned, "We can call it a night if you want, Liv? We can talk? Or I can give you some space...if that's what you need…?"

Olivia smiled, breathing in the scent of his skin and then laughing in spite of herself, "The very _last_ thing I need is space from you, Rafael."

He smiled as her face came up and she looked into his eyes, "So we can talk?" He suggested and ran his hand up to rest on her waist.

"I don't want to talk…" Barba looked surprised and a little hurt, but Olivia rushed to explain, "I have absolutely no doubts, I want this…I want _you._ This is a huge step…" her eyes glowed, "…I haven't felt like this for years, or ever...and I guess I'm just a little…overexcited."

Barba's mouth turned up in an affectionate and warm half-smile, "Overexcited?"

Olivia laughed softly, "Don't let that swell your head too much, Rafa, we still need to get you through that door into your bedroom."

His eyes widened, as if only just registering where this was leading and then he swallowed harshly. "You're sure about this? About us? I don't want to…I can't…"

Olivia brought her hand up and rested two fingers on his lips, "I've never been more sure about anything or anyone, Rafael," she confirmed with absolute certainty.

Barba looked a little tearful and nodded, "Okay, good…" he lifted his hand up and showed her that it was trembling a little, "…because I'm nervous enough for both of us."

She smiled and slowly ran her teeth over her bottom lip as her eyes gazed over his familiar face.

"I want to make you happy, Liv, more than anything…" he whispered softly.

Olivia felt her knees buckle at the sincere devotion she could hear in her friend's voice and wondered how it was possible that she had never heard it before. Her body fell against his a little and she tightened her hold on him, "Rafa, my body is inordinately happy just to be standing this close to you...and you've barely even touched me yet."

Barba's laugh rumbled against her throat as his lips trailed over her skin and she closed her eyes and focused on the feeling. He slipped his hand underneath her shirt and skimmed his fingers over the smooth skin at her waist, causing Olivia to groan softly.

His hand traced slowly up over her waist and then his thumb brushed the underside of her bra, causing a trail of fire across her skin before brushing teasingly over her taut nipple.

"God…Rafa…" She groaned and Barba watched in wonder at the way her mouth fell open breathlessly.

"You're so unearthly beautiful…" He murmured, then leaned in to graze her lips gently.

Olivia groaned when she felt his tongue flick against hers, then she pulled back teasingly and nipped his bottom lip.

_"Mmmmmm…"_ Barba hummed into her mouth, "I'm never going to get enough of kissing you, your lips feel so perfect against mine."

"Don't worry, mi amor, I'll never want to go a day for the rest of my life without feeling your lips on my..." Olivia sighed happily.

Barba looked at her intently, allowing himself to take on the life-changing meaning of her words and then kissed slowly down her throat. He surprised her by suddenly dropping to his knees, lifting her shirt and trailing his lips over her stomach. "I can put them to multiple uses you know…" he suggested hungrily as he licked across her hipbone.

Olivia's knees dipped abruptly, she braced herself on his shoulders and gasped, "Rafa, God…_stop!"_

"Sorry, I…" Barba started to pull back and was held in place by Olivia's hands.

"Sweetheart, I just need to…" She smiled a little awkwardly, "…can we sit? My legs are going to give way…"

Barba's heart sped up at her words and the mischievous hunger in her eyes.

She slipped her hand into his as he stood and they walked towards his bedroom as though both in a dream.

They stopped at the end of his bed and Olivia looked over at it with a smile, "I guess we don't need to argue about who sleeps on the couch tonight."

He smiled and rolled his eyes, but then checked-in one last time, "Olivia, are you sure?"

She laughed, "What do I actually need to do or say in order to convince you that I love you?"

Barba shook his head in wonder, "I don't know, pinch me?"

Olivia moved her hand over his forearm and then sharply did just that - he yelped a little and then laughed. Stepping forward and slipping his arms around her as he turned her towards the bed.

"You haven't actually…" she started, but then couldn't bring herself to finish, to ask him to say the words.

He guided her back to sit on the bed, then dropped to kneel between her legs, he slid his fingers along the band of her jeans and then looked at her face. Seeing her nod his fingers worked to quickly slip open the button and slide down the zipper. He held her gaze as she slowly and encouragingly lifted her hips and waited while Barba pulled down her jeans, removing her shoes and socks and tossing everything to one side.

His eyes returned to hers, remaining linked as his hand slid up her calf and over her thigh. He smiled up at her and turned to place a soft kiss on the inside of her knee. "Te quiero…" he whispered softly and pressed his lips to her skin again, just a little higher.

Olivia's breath caught and she fought the desire to close her eyes at the overwhelming emotions.

"Te amo…" he continued and then traced his lips slowly up the inside of her thigh, his words combining with his lips to make her skin tingle and her core clench.

"Mi corazón late por ti…" he continued against her skin and caused her to shudder tearfully.

"Rafa…" she gasped and slid the fingers of one hand into his hair as she reached back with the other to brace herself on the bed.

"I'm sorry I ever allowed you to doubt it, or that you had to hear that from someone else…" he whispered softly and looked up into her eyes.

"I didn't, my love, I heard it from you…from your lips…" her fingers traced over his beard then her thumb caught a tear as it slipped from his eye.

He moved up and pressed his lips lightly to hers as she stretched back over the bed. Looking down at her he smiled in wonder. "Ojos de ángel…" he grinned teasingly and Olivia laughed.

She felt his hands at the edge of her shirt and their eyes linked again as she blocked his arm and then shook her head slowly. "You're wearing far too many clothes, mi amor…" she pointed out with a smile and glanced over his body eagerly, "…I need to feel you against me."

Barba stood up on shaky legs and swallowed nervously as she watched him remove his shoes and pants.

"Keep going, counsellor…" she prompted, watching with gleaming eyes as she licked her lips.

He pulled his shirt up over his head and looked down to see Olivia reaching for her own top.

"No!" Barba said quickly, moving forward to climb over her on the bed, his knees resting either side of her hips as his hands skated down her waist before slipping under her shirt. "Please," he asked, looking heatedly into her eyes, "…hermosa...can I?"

Olivia watched him lick his lips hungrily and nodded.

He gently lifted the shirt over her head, tossing it to one side and then sitting back on his heels to look over her body in awe. Her bra did not hide her taut nipples and her breath caught and then sped up under his intense inspection.

"You're perfect, Liv," he whispered softly and reached out to touch her, as though afraid she might disappear.

Olivia looked away from his intense scrutiny, "Far…far from perfect…" she replied softly.

Barba shook his head, "Perfect…" he leaned in and kissed along her collarbone, "…perfect…" he repeated and then kissed over her chest, stopping at a small scar and pressing his lips to it reverently. "Every single one of these scars speaks of your bravery and strength. You're heartbreakingly beautiful, 'Livia…and so sexy that you take my breath away…you are _perfect."_

Olivia felt a tear slide down her face and Barba leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Alma gemela…" she whispered softly and saw tears well in his eyes, "…you make me feel beautiful."

Barba shook his head in wonder and then leaned to kiss from her temple and down to her jaw, "You could have anyone you wanted," he smiled against her skin.

She grinned and arched up against his body, "That's great, because I want _you."_

He hummed and thrust his hips forward, pressing her against his bed as he leaned to take one of her taut nipples into his mouth, sucking the little bud through the material of her bra.

Olivia gasped and pushed up toward him.

Taking his opportunity he quickly unhooked the bra, slipped it down her arms and flung it away. "Even better…" he whispered with a smile and Olivia gasped when his lips returned to suckle on her tight little nub.

"Bite on it a little…" She hissed.

Barba looked up at her, grinned and then grazed his teeth over her sensitised skin.

"Fuck, Rafa! God, yes…" she gasped and clawed into his hair. His breath tickled the underside of her breast as he licked and nipped, causing Olivia's eyes to roll back as she stretched up toward him. She felt his solid cock against her thigh for the first time and groaned. She gasped when he thrust himself against her wet centre; feeling his length slide between her folds and over her inviting core.

Olivia gasped at the dual assault and groaned at the sensation of Rafael grinding against her soaking wet clit. Her climax hit hard and fast as she thrust her hips against him and dropped her head to the side in search of oxygen.

When she opened her eyes a few seconds later, she found Barba's lips working their way up her throat. She smiled at him lazily and lifted her hand to slowly stroke over his beard, "Without a doubt the most intense orgasm of my life and you aren't even inside me yet."

He looked up into her eyes adoringly and smiled, "You inspire me…"

Olivia laughed joyfully and suddenly rolled them.

Barba found himself on his back looking up at her and laughed, "A move you learned in basic training?"

Olivia smiled down at him and grinned, "Best training partner yet…" she teased and then leaned to kiss his lips before smiling at him slyly and hooking her thumbs into the waistband of his boxers.

He groaned and automatically lifted his hips off the bed, so Olivia used the access to her advantage and quickly slipped his boxers down and off his legs. She grinned as she rolled her hips against him, "Well, _this_ is beyond even my very active imagination."

Barba choked out a short laugh and rolled his eyes, "I've never been this hard in my life, Liv. I've wanted you for so long…I've dreamed of you…" he looked up at her and stroked his hand down her neck.

She kissed him, "This is definitely worth the flight…" she teased and he laughed breathlessly.

One eager hand slid down Olivia's back and over her ass, slipping inside her underwear and squeezing confidently. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage, _Captain _Benson," he teased not even attempting to hide the joy in his voice.

Olivia smirked down at him and teasingly nuzzled against his beard, "Well, we can't have that, can we?"

"Partners?" He said and reached up to tuck some hair behind her ear.

"In _all _things," She confirmed and laughed joyfully when Barba rolled them again and she found herself laying on her back. "You brute…" she teased as he kissed down her neck, her hand driving into his hair as his lips descended between her breasts.

He kissed over her belly, then along the edge of her underwear before catching the material between his teeth and grinning up at her.

Olivia smiled at him and was surprised when she felt tears spring to her eyes. _Partners, _she thought and then shook her head when he looked at her with concern. "So happy…" she explained simply.

Barba nodded and then took the hint when she lifted her hips a little and allowed him to slip her underwear reverently down her legs. He looked up at her, kissed her hip and then followed her lead when Olivia trailed her finger up his neck and beckoned him back towards her.

"Hey…" he smiled adoringly as he settled alongside her.

Olivia reached between them and Barba closed his eyes when her hand wrapped around his length and stroked him firmly.

"Easy, Liv, I'm only human…" He joked and leaned to kiss her as she loosened her grip and spread her legs to encourage him into her embrace.

"I love you," she said again easily and nuzzled her nose against his.

Barba closed his eyes and felt himself line up against her core, "God, Liv…" he murmured against her lips, "…I love you…so much…thank you."

She moaned in response as he moved against her slick folds before easing himself glacially inside her heat. It felt like every inch of her body was hyper-stimulated as he ground against her clit before he started to slowly move inside her.

His thrusts began slowly and exploratively. With each movement inside her, Barba scanned over her face and watched her every reaction as he constantly reminded himself that this was real.

_This is Olivia, _he told himself with awe, _she wants me, she loves me, she loves me._

He bent down and kissed her neck, licking and tasting her skin eagerly and revelling in the loud moan that resonated through her body. He could feel her thighs gripping his hips and moving higher, almost possessively holding him against her and restricting his movement to relatively short and firm thrusts. One hand wrapped around his waist and the other gripped his shoulder, her nails clawing at his skin and attempting to pull him impossibly closer.

"Rafa…God, Rafa…I'm close…" she gasped against his shoulder and then grazed her teeth.

"Look at me…" Barba gasped desperately as he ground against her clit and then shifted the angle of his thrust slightly and caused her to groan as her head dropped back and her dark eyes clashed with his deep green.

It only took a few seconds before she cried out his name and rocked herself against him, trying to prolong her orgasm as long as she could. Olivia's mouth opened as she gasped for air and her body pulsated against his, the combination of her hungry gaze and her walls clenching around him was enough to send Barba over the edge as well, falling against her heavily as they wrapped each other into a tight cocoon.

After a few minutes, he slipped from insider her and they both moaned as they rolled onto their sides and tangled their legs together, lazily kissing whatever skin they could reach, tasting and breathing in each other's scents as they wordlessly explored.

"Rafa…" Olivia moaned and closed her eyes after several minutes when his lips traced the underside of one of her breasts.

"I think this might be one of my favorite spots…" he hummed peacefully against her skin, "…although admittedly the list will be really long."

She laughed breathlessly and closed her eyes, "Rafa…"

"We're talking a top 100 rather than a top ten…" he continued and nuzzled into her silky skin, "…and that top 100 will all be tied, there's no way I'll ever be able to choose a number one."

Olivia laughed again and watched as he kissed up towards her mouth and then held his smiling lips against hers, "Although I don't know, your lips are _amazing."_

"Do you ever shut up?" She teased happily and then kissed him as her fingers stroked at the base of his neck.

_"You_ make me pretty speechless," he retorted and flicked out his tongue teasingly against her lips.

"All evidence to the contrary…" she smirked.

"I'm delirious…" he chuckled and kissed slowly along to her ear, nipping the lobe and then licking and sucking down to her shoulder, "…I literally have _no_ idea what I'm saying right now."

Olivia stretched her neck back and laughed joyfully, "Best plane ticket I ever bought…"

Barba looked down at her thoughtfully now and then moved to lay alongside. His hand came to rest on the side of her face as he gazed down at her. "Thank you, thank you for taking a chance on me…I'm an idiot."

She smirked, "Your _my_ idiot now so go easy on yourself or you'll have me to deal with."

He laughed and shook his head, leaning to kiss her and then taking several long seconds to look into her eyes, "This is going to cost a fortune in airfare, you know?"

She frowned and shook her head in confusion.

"I can't just quit my job," he explained with a sad smile, "…but I can't stay away from you now." He grinned at the light dawning in her eyes. "Flights from all over the country, every chance I get," he vowed.

Olivia nodded, "I can take some time, I have vacation owed to me…maybe Amanda could take Noah for some weekends?"

"And maybe you could both come out to visit me?" He suggested.

"That sounds perfect," she agreed and closed her eyes serenely.

"You know you can trust me not to let him down again, right?" He checked seriously. "I'm all in...if you'll have me? You and Noah…"

She nodded and a tear fell over her temple as he leaned to kiss her. "Oh, I think we'll take you..." she confirmed needlessly.

"We have work in the morning," Barba pointed out with a smile and curled into her side, his head resting on her shoulder, "…I need my beauty sleep."

Olivia smiled and wrapped her arms around him, she needed to use the bathroom but that could wait a few minutes. "I think you're beautiful enough already," she teased softly and kissed his head.

Barba turned and pressed his smiling lips to her shoulder and then settled against her. "Think we could mess with Lizzie and Marcus a little tomorrow?" He smirked.

Olivia grinned and closed her eyes, "I can't see why not…"

_TBC…_


	4. The Morning After

Barba woke lying face down on the bed, his mind taking a few moments to wake up and register what had stirred him - the slow trail of gentle fingertips tracing soft patterns over his lower back and then along his spine.

He slowly blinked open his eyes in the morning sun and felt his heartbeat race at the sight of Olivia Benson lying next to him, her head was propped up on one hand as she looked down at him with glowing eyes and continued to trace over his skin.

_It wasn't a dream._

A lazy smile spread across Olivia's face and her eyes gleamed as she edged even closer and stretched a leg over his calves.

"Morning, Rafa…" she whispered quietly and then dropped her head down, sharing his pillow and nuzzling closer.

Barba pushed up and rolled a little onto his side, reaching out to wrap his arms around her as his face curled against her shoulder. Their legs tangled together and he felt Olivia's mouth smile against his neck before she pressed her lips to his skin and then breathed him in.

"Morning, Liv…" He replied with a smile that seemed to work its way up from the core of his being and then is surprised to feel tears well in his eyes.

Hearing the emotion in his voice Olivia pulled back and looked at him, their eyes linking as her nose traced slowly alongside his. "I know…" she says softly and kissed his lips, "…I was…I had expected it all to be a dream as well."

He smiled then and laughed softly, "Can I just…you know, wake up to feel your fingers trailing up my back every day for the rest of my life?"

Olivia grinned and then grazed her bottom lip with her teeth before flicking her tongue over it quickly and leaning in for a soft kiss. "We'll get there," she promised against his lips with simple confidence that made his heart clench. He'd never truly been anyones, not beyond the rash choices of youth, now here he was…after almost excepting the fact it was never going to happen…and he was finally hers.

Even more mind-blowing than that - she was _his._

"What are you thinking?" She asked softly, hating to sound like a cliche, but she was…as always…fascinated by him.

Barba smiled and edged closer, his arm stroked around her waist and then up her back, "You…and me…about how I never even allowed myself to believe this could be possible…but now we're here I have no doubts."

Olivia arched an eyebrow.

He smiled, "I spent so long assuming you could never love me, that I wasn't worthy of a woman like you, but now…"

"We're a perfect fit..." Olivia assured confidently and Barba smiled.

"No one else could ever make you as happy as I will, I promise…" He assured and leaned in to kiss down her neck. "It won't always be easy, but it will never not be right…you _own_ me, Liv."

Olivia laughed and curled into him, "Rafael Barba - all this early morning skin…sleepy confessions of love and double negatives…I'm in my own personal heaven."

He laughed and grazed his teeth on her collarbone.

"Easy, we have to get up…" Olivia warned reluctantly.

"…Time is it?" Barba asked as his lips trailed down to the top of her breasts.

"Gone seven…" Olivia said reluctantly, really not wanting to halt the path of his lips.

He groaned against her chest and then smiled, "I don't wanna go…" he muttered into her skin, intentionally putting on the tone of a petulant child.

Olivia smiled, "You laugh now, you'll have all that to deal with when you come home…"

Barba paused for a few seconds, his lips on her soft pillowy skin and then breathed in and looked up at her, "I've missed him, more than I can…more than I even…"

Tears sprung to Olivia's eyes and she stroked her hand over his hair, "God, Rafa, we've missed you too…" she spoke with all of the emotion that she had been trying to keep in check since the first moment she had seen him the day before. Then as he moved up to kiss her she lifted her hand up and place two fingers gently on his lips, "I need you to be sure, Rafa, _so_ sure…I can't let you step foot in my home until you swear to me that this is it. This is family weekends, and homework, and tantrums, and teenage sullenness, and staying even when we're driving you crazy and you're desperate to walk away…because walking away isn't even an option for you anymore."

Barba looked hurt - his eye shimmered with tears and he started to speak, but then she shook her head again.

"This is college applications and graduation, and being there at his side on his wedding day, and no matter how angry he makes you…because we know teenagers can be horrendous…this is never allowing him to imagine for even one second that you will not _always_ be there for him."

"Liv, I…" He started again.

"I know that you love me, mi amor," Olivia whispered softly and kissed from his temple and down the side of his face. "I would leap for you, I would close my eyes and jump into the dark, knowing that you would be there beside me. But for Noah, I need more, because I'd risk my heart for you - but I _will not_ risk his."

Barba licked his lips and began to nod solemnly, keeping his gaze locked with her.

"I need a guarantee before you walk across my threshold that you are completely committing to my little boy…that you will _never_ break his heart," Olivia said firmly.

He nodded, "I…"

"You don't have to say it now, Rafa, you can…" She started.

Barba shook his head quickly, "I never even dreamed that this was possible. I don't need time. I'm in. 100%. I'm yours, I'm Noah's. If I could sign a contract in blood and offer my soul I would."

Olivia laughed tearfully, "Well…that's a little much. I know I'm asking a lot, it's just that Noah has been through so much already and you…"

He moved up and curled against her, their foreheads resting together as he smiled, "Hey, you're not asking for too much…after what I did…I didn't even realise…" he took a breath and then concluded, "…you're the loves of my life, Liv, you and that little boy. So I swear to you that I will never willingly leave your side."

Olivia nodded, feeling the tension in her body drift away, "I want to get a flight home tomorrow."

Barba double took, shock and concern flooding his face.

She laughed, "I mean both of us, Rafa, I want to take you home to spend the weekend with Noah. You could get a flight back on Sunday evening, or Monday morning? I know it's inconvenient, but…"

He nodded quickly and enthusiastically, "No, I mean, yes, of course! I'm dying to see him. If you're sure, I mean if you're…?"

Olivia nodded, "I'm certain." She pulled away reluctantly, "You shower, I need to make a quick call."

He actually pouted a little as Olivia climbed out of bed and she looked back at him and grinned broadly, "Rafa, you need to go to work!"

"You could always join me in the shower?" He suggested with a flirtatious half-smile.

She looked at him and licked her lips, "Then we would _definitely_ be late for work! Now get your gorgeous ass in that shower!"

Barba laughed and then dropped his head back onto his pillow. He ran his hand over his face and groaned, "I'm in heaven!"

The words and groan were so antithetical that it made Olivia laugh, she tugged at the sheets and pulled them down as though she was trying to convince Noah to get out of bed. "Shower, Barba!" She barked with false anger, her eyes glowing with humor.

He looked up and smiled at her, his eyes glancing over her unconsciously naked form and then watching as she bent to slip on his shirt from the day before. She casually looped through two buttons near her chest and then smiled at him as she reached for her phone and walked towards the hallway.

"Heaven…" he murmured happily and then dragged his complaining body out of bed.

* * *

The phone rang three times before her friend answered. _**"Captain…"**_ Carisi said with a smile in his voice, **_"…don't worry your son is still in excellent health."_**

Olivia smiled, she never doubted that for a second. "He's okay?"

**_"You want to speak to him?"_** Carisi offered, sounding like he was already walking to find him.

"Not right now," Olivia said quickly, "…I knew you'd be busy at this time, I just wanted to let you know I'll be coming home in the morning."

**_"You don't trust me!"_ **Carisi teased and Olivia grinned. **_"Last minute change of plan?"_** He added distractedly.

Olivia could almost imagine him in the kitchen making Noah's lunch. _So domestic,_ she thought with a smile.

"I…" she paused and then shrugged, "…I'm bringing someone home for a visit."

There was silence then a confused, **_"I thought you'd gone down the coast…?"_** He paused and then she heard a smile in his voice, **_"You didn't go down the coast did you? You went to see him..."_**

"Sonny…" She smirked.

**_"You're bringing him home?"_ **He asked with unmistakable enthusiasm.

"He needs to leave at the end of the weekend, he has work…" she clarified.

**_"But he's coming back, or you'd wouldn't be bringing him home to see Noah,"_** Carisi observed and she could hear his smile.

"We're…" Olivia tried to find the words.

**_"Yes, you are…"_** he smiled.

"You're an incurable romantic, Sonny Carisi," she laughed.

**_"How do you want to do this?"_** He asked.

Olivia thought for a second, "I think I want to surprise him," she grinned and nodded to herself, "…yes, I want to surprise him."

**_"Rafael is…?"_ **There was an unspoken question that Carisi wasn't sure he was allowed to ask, but couldn't figure out how _not_ to.

"He's sure, Sonny, he's _all _in. He…" she paused and felt happy tears fill her eyes and clog her throat, "…he loves me, he loves Noah…and he understands now that we love him too…so he's coming home."

Olivia smiled when she heard the suggestion of tears in her friend's voice when he replied, **_"Well…perfect."_**

* * *

"You're sure you want to do this?" Olivia asked with a smirk as they walked toward his office door.

Barba smiled at her, humor in his eyes.

"They obviously love you," she slipped her hand into his, "…so don't be cruel."

"We won't go too far," he assured and squeezed her hand, "…but Lizzie would be the first to admit that they've earned a little payback."

She laughed, "Okay, _boss_…show me how you spend your days."

Barba smiled at her briefly, dropped her hand and then pushed open the door to show her through.

* * *

Lizzie looked up nervously as she watched them walk through the outer office space wordlessly and straight towards his office. Barba didn't look up at her, but Olivia glanced over and smiled politely.

"Rafael!" She called out weakly as they disappeared from sight.

"Not now, Lizzie," he called back grumpily and shut the door behind them.

"Fuck…" Lizzie hissed and glared at Marcus in the corner of the room.

"We don't _know_ it went badly," Marcus pointed out but still cringed.

"Did _that_ look like the image of the deliriously happy couple that you painted for me last night!" She growled with irritation and pointed towards his office with her hand.

"Maybe they…" He started awkwardly.

"Maybe she doesn't feel the same way and we fucked up!" Lizzie hissed, "Maybe she broke his fucking heart and he's going to blame _us!"_

Marcus blanched and looked at her with a pained but helpless expression.

* * *

Barba and Olivia stood huddled childishly on the other side of the door, listening in with their ears pressed to the wood, facing each other and smiling broadly.

"Not even possible," she whispered softly and then leaned forward to press her lips to his, "…how could I _not_ love you?"

He smiled with humor and brought his hand up to stroke over her hair. "You're distractingly beautiful, Liv, it's a good job we no longer work together…working with you around now that I'm allowed to touch you is going to be a challenge."

"Rafael Barba," she admonished teasingly, "…my consummate professional and eternal workaholic?"

"Some things are more important than work…" He assured softly.

"Who are you and what have you done with _my_ Rafael?" She teased.

"He's right here," Barba smiled and leaned in to brush his lips softly over hers, "…kissing you."

They heard a noise on the other side of the door and quickly pull apart, Liv turned towards a filing cabinet as Barba walked quickly toward his desk.

There was an unusual knock at his door and Barba called back, "Come in."

The door opened and Lizzie stood there looking pensive.

"This one?" Olivia asked naturally and turned towards him calmly holding a file.

Barba had to control his smile, her experience working undercover was shining through. He hummed with mock distraction, taking the file from Olivia without even looking up at her and then glancing at Lizzie. "Did you need something?"

Lizzie looked at Olivia, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I had a couple of drinks too many last night, I can get a little loose-lipped and…"

"Can we just forget it, Lizzie?" Barba said simply and stared back down at his work.

Olivia looked over at Lizzie and saw the pain on her face after her friend had looked away, she knew the Barba wouldn't actually want to hurt her and almost stepped in before Marcus suddenly appeared behind her in the doorway.

"Please, boss," he said sincerely, "…whatever was said last night was my fault. Lizzie didn't say anything, she…"

Olivia couldn't bear this a moment longer and cut in before Barba had the chance to reply. She walked over and wrapped her arms around Barba's neck from behind. Smiling at the shocked and confused expressions on their faces when she leaned to kiss her lover's temple and then look up at them, "So I guess I send the chocolates and flowers to you, Marcus?"

Lizzie opened and closed her mouth in confusion, then looked at Barba and saw a broad grin spread slowly over his face. "You bastard!" She gasped and laughed breathlessly, "Fuck! I thought…I thought I'd…we'd…"

"You didn't _know_ what would happen when you both opened your damn mouths..." Barba said, not unkindly but firmly.

"We didn't, boss," Marcus agreed resolutely, "…it was childish, unprofessional and completely out of order."

Olivia smiled at him and nodded, "Colleagues and alcohol…"

"Dangerous combination," Lizzie completed with a nod and then looked to Barba apologetically. "We're friends, Rafael, I hope you know that I would never hurt you like that...not intentionally."

Barba nodded sincerely, "I'm sorry for snapping at you last night, Lizzie," he replied in turn and then reached up to cover Olivia's hands with one of his, "…and, I guess for messing with you a little this morning."

Lizzie laughed, "You held out for less than five minutes, Rafael. We deserved it…and you're _completely_ forgiven."

They all smiled at each other.

"So you're…?" She grinned at them both.

"Actually pretty grateful," Olivia finished. "You gave me the motivation that I needed to step up and…"

"Claim what's yours?" Lizzie asked with a smile.

Barba smirked at her and rolled his eyes, "It was a dangerous little game…"

"I get that," she nodded seriously, then looked at Olivia, "…but Olivia loves you, of course, she does, it's written all over her face…and you are both fucking adorable right now."

He barked out a laugh and leaned forward to pick up a piece of paper, scrunching it up, throwing it and hitting her shoulder, "Will you please desist looking at me like a chocolate lab puppy you just saw on social media?"

"Being in love looks good on you, Rafael," She smiled affectionately picking up the piece of paper and unfurling it to check that it wasn't anything important before tossing it in the trash.

"Lizzie, I've been in love the _entire_ time you've known me," Barba pointed out honestly, looking up at Olivia with a fond smile.

Lizzie rolled her eyes and then nodded happily, "Yes...I guess a lot makes sense now."

* * *

After a busy day at work, and a few drinks with Lizzie and Marcus, Barba and Olivia went back to his apartment and made love, slowly taking time to enjoy each other's bodies and luxuriate in the freedom to touch in a way that both of them had longed to for longer than either could remember.

At a little after 7, Olivia dragged Barba's eager body out of bed and into the shower, before they jumped into a cab to the airport and caught their flight home.

_TBC..._


	5. Welcome Home

Barba walked up the familiar steps behind Olivia and was surprised how nervous he felt. He'd been thinking about seeing Noah again almost constantly throughout the whole journey and suddenly felt a little overwhelmed by the prospect.

"He doesn't know I'm coming?" He asked for what Olivia was sure was the fourth or fifth time since they'd left his apartment in Des Moines.

Olivia looked back down at him and smiled, "You're actually nervous, aren't you?"

Barba rolled his eyes and then looked down as they continued to walk, refusing to meet her gaze.

"You really are nervous!" Olivia stopped and looked at him. Waiting until he reached the step right behind her before lifting her hand to his face.

"Rafa, he's going to be bouncing off the walls with excitement when he sees you," she assured confidently.

"You told me the last time he asked about me he wanted to know if I was _ever_ coming back? What if he's started to move on? What if he doesn't…?"

She cut in, "What? Want his_ favorite_ Uncle back in his life?"

Barba smiled, "Liv, as much as I've always loved that moniker I'm not his uncle and I'm certainly not your surrogate brother anymore."

Olivia pulled an exaggeratedly disgusted face and Barba laughed.

"Fair point…" She sighed, "Well, we could try and steer him in a new direction - how about just Rafa for now?"

"For now?" Barba asked and stepped a little closer. "I like the sound of that," he smiled as his lips came into contact with her throat.

She laughed and brought her hand up to the back of his neck, "Don't change the subject!"

"But I really love this subject…" He grinned and then nipped her skin lightly.

_"Noah…"_ she reminded him softly and then Barba smiled and nodded.

"Noah," he agreed and then started following her up the stairs again.

"I think we should tell him, straightaway," Barba said suddenly.

Olivia stopped outside her door, key in hand.

"Straightaway?" She asked curiously.

"Well, not the moment we're across the threshold," he clarified with amusement, "I just mean that I don't want to wait. If we're telling him that I'm back I want him to know for sure that this is real…that he can rely on that. I'd like to tell him straight that I am in love with his mom, that I love him and that I am coming home. That one day we both want us to be a family."

Olivia smiled at him softly, "You're sure?"

"I'm certain," he nodded confidently, "about you, about everything…you know that. So if you feel comfortable I want Noah to know that too."

She nodded slowly, "I trust you, Rafa...or we wouldn't be here."

He nodded solemnly.

"And if he asks you if you're going to be his dad? Then what will you say? Because you need to understand that if you go down this route it is a possibility…" Olivia cautioned.

"If…" Barba paused, "…if you're happy, maybe...'one day'?"

"One day?" Olivia asked.

"That we're just at the beginning, but that I love you both very much and that _one day_…if that's what you both want…I would love that more than anything else in the world…" Barba suggested a little nervously, but without leaving any room for doubt or uncertainty.

"I love you," Olivia said simply and then leaned in to kiss him.

"Thank God," he whispered lightly, "…because you're stuck with me now."

She laughed and put her key in the door.

"Mom?!" They heard an excited voice running for the door and Barba's heart leapt as he watched the little boy jump into his mom's arms. "I've missed you!"

_He's so big!_ Barba thought with a wave of emotion. He'd seen photos, of course, but that was nothing like seeing him in person. He'd missed so damn much.

Noah double took when he saw Barba in the doorway behind his mom, two years is a long time and the beard was unfamiliar, but then within seconds his eyes lit up and he turned and rushed towards him.

_"Uncle Rafa!"_ Noah gasped and threw himself enthusiastically into the arms of his old Lego buddy. "You came home! You missed mom's birthday! And mine! Two of them! I got your cards though, the monkeys were funny…and I saw the pictures of Cuba. You've been a long time! That was a really long break…have you been on vacation? Mom said you are working? Where are you working? Why are you here? When are you leaving?"

Barba looked over Noah's shoulder at Olivia, looking a little shocked, and then saw Carisi walking around the corner and smiled weakly at him.

Noah pulled back and looked at him with a puzzled frown, "You have a hairy face, is that on purpose?"

Barba laughed and stroked over his beard, "Well…yes, I guess."

Noah squinted, "Okay…well, I guess that's okay then."

Olivia laughed from behind him and dropped down next to Barba and her son. "I'm sure that Rafa is grateful for your approval," she teased and kissed his head.

"I'm going to go," Carisi nodded toward the door, he walked behind Barba and patted his shoulder cordially, "…good to see you, Rafael."

Barba looked up at him, nodded and smiled warmly.

"You don't have to, Sonny," Olivia said genuinely.

Carisi smiled, "You guys have catching up to do and I told Amanda that I'd meet her for coffee to go over a case. Honestly, I'm going to head off."

Olivia nodded and smiled at him, "Well, thank you…_again._ I can't begin to tell you what your help has meant."

He smiled at Barba and then looked back at his old boss, "I think I have some idea." Carisi nodded at them both as Barba stood, then winked at his young friend and slipped out of the apartment.

Noah turned back to Barba, "You're visiting on vacation? Mom has just been on vacation too."

Barba walked Noah towards the couch and they all sat down, Olivia sat on the other side of her son and nodded at her friend to take the lead.

"Your mom was on a sort of vacation," Barba started slowly and Noah looked confused, "…that was part of the surprise, your mom used her vacation to come and see me."

Noah's eye's widened and he looked back at his mom, "You went to get Uncle Rafa?"

"I went to talk to him, sweet boy, I was a little sad because my friend had died," she told him honestly, "and I wanted to see him."

Noah nodded, "Uncle Rafa did always make you happy…" he said thoughtfully, "…until he didn't."

Barba's throat tightened at Noah's uncomplicated summary and Olivia reached behind Noah on the couch to slip her hand into his comfortingly.

"Noah, during our visit Uncle Rafa and I talked a lot," Olivia explained softly, "….do you know what it means when grown-ups are in love?"

Noah looked at them both carefully, "Like mommies and daddies?"

"Kind of like that, yes," Olivia nodded and smiled at Barba.

"When grown-ups are in love they make promises to each other," Barba took the baton, "…they promise that they will be best friends forever, _family_."

Noah nodded thoughtfully, "And you love my mom? Even though you went away?"

"I…" Barba looked up at Olivia and she nodded encouragingly, "I always loved your mom, Noah, but I was upset and a little confused…and for a long time, I thought that both of you would be better off without having me around."

Noah looked completely perplexed now, "Why would you think _that?"_

Her son asked with such confusion that Olivia couldn't help but laugh. "I know, sweetheart, sometimes grown-ups make decisions that make absolutely no sense," she smiled at Barba and he smirked and rolled his eyes.

"But now you know that we love you?" Noah asked Barba directly. "Mom told you that we love you, so you're coming home?"

Barba smiled at the simplicity and nodded, "For a visit, I still have to get on a plane to go back to work on Monday morning."

Noah frowned.

"But I'll be back," Barba assured.

"You didn't come back last time," he looked down at the floor a little angrily, "we waited for a long time and you _never_ came home."

Barba sighed and ran his hand over Noah's back, "It's different this time, amigo."

"How?" Noah frowned at him.

"Well, first of all, I love your mom very much…so even if there were no planes at all I would walk from the other side of the country just to visit," Barba assured and felt Olivia squeeze his hand. "Second of all, I love you...and if you'll let me I would like to spend lots more time with you. Maybe we could go to see a show together? I hear that you love dancing…"

Noah nodded tentatively and smiled a little.

"I'm only going to be leaving for work for a while, Noah, then once my work is over I'll be moving back home forever," Barba vowed, "…if you'll have me?"

Noah looked shocked and a little uncharacteristically speechless, he looked back at his mom and she smiled and nodded.

"No rush, baby, but one day very soon I would like us to sit down and talk about how we would both feel about inviting Rafa to be part of our family," Olivia explained delicately.

"Uncle Rafa is already family," Noah pointed out.

"He is," Olivia nodded, "but I mean _special_ family."

"Like moms and dads?" Noah checked.

"Like moms and dads," Olivia confirmed.

"So Uncle Rafa would live with us?" Noah verified, a smile growing in his eyes.

"How would you feel about that?" Barba asked tentatively.

Noah smiled, "I think I would really _really_ like that!"

"You, me and Rafa," Olivia clarified, "…together."

"Forever…" Noah added, then looked at Barba, "…then you couldn't leave again, because you would belong here with us?"

Barba glanced up at Olivia, smiled and then nodded at Noah, "Exactly right."

"Soon," Olivia clarified for her son, "and until then Rafa will visit us every single chance he gets and sometimes we might be able to go visit him too. What do you think?"

"To IHOP?" Noah asked.

Olivia grinned at Barba, "To _Iowa,"_ she corrected, "…although maybe you won't need to go to Iowa, Rafa will be going to other exciting places too."

"Like Disneyland?" Noah suggested.

Olivia smiled and was about to correct Noah again but then Barba cut in, "Sure, maybe like Disneyland. We'll all have to talk though and make plans together, okay?"

"Just like a family?" Noah confirmed thoughtfully.

_"Exactly,"_ Olivia agreed.

"But Uncle Rafa is not Uncle Rafa anymore?" Noah asked slightly confused, he'd noticed that his mom kept deliberately calling him 'Rafa' when talking to him and that was new.

Olivia sighed and thought about how to explain, "Noah…when you call Uncle Fin and Uncle Sonny 'uncle' that is because you and I think of them as just like family. You understand that uncle and auntie mean mommy's brother or sister right?"

Noah nodded with a small smile.

"So when we say 'Uncle Sonny' we are kind of saying that he's like my brother - _family,"_ Olivia continued and Noah nodded again. "But now things have changed, Rafa is not like my brother…he is still family, but our relationship has different."

"He is your boyfriend…" Noah said simply, clearly understanding.

She nodded, "So one day maybe you might like to call him something else…"

"Like Dad?" Noah completed and Barba felt tears welling in his eyes.

"If or when you feel that is what you want," Olivia assured, "but until then you can call him whatever you like - Uncle Rafa, Rafa…"

"Silly Sausage?" Noah suggested with a grin.

They all laughed.

"Well sure…" Olivia chuckled and leaned to kiss her son's head, "…but maybe not all the time because that might make him feel bad!"

* * *

Noah almost skipped down the sidewalk and surprised Olivia when she saw him reach up and grab Barba's hand as they walked away, that was getting less and less common in recent months.

Olivia saw Noah grin up at her lover and swiped a tear from her eye before turning to walk in the other direction. She had decided to (slightly reluctantly) let her boys spend some time together alone on Saturday afternoon and thought the best way to avoid missing them both incessantly was to go into work and get some paperwork done.

On arrival in the outer office Amanda looked up at her and smiled, she'd definitely been filled in by Carisi.

"Thought you would be 'busy'," she smirked and leaned back in her chair, tapping her pen on her lips slowly.

Olivia rolled her eyes, "They're out doing some male bonding, so I've…"

"Come in to distract yourself from withdrawal?" She teased and her eyes glowed.

"Leave it," Olivia laughed softly, not denying Amanda's assumption and therefore confirming it.

"I can't believe you just went and…what? Collected him?" Amanda laughed.

"Sometimes in life, you've got to just decide what you want and go for it...the last few months have taught me that," Olivia said as she passed by in the direction of her office and then slowed and turned towards Amanda's desk.

"And you wanted Barba?" Amanda smiled warmly.

"I _got_ Barba!" Olivia confirmed with a grin and a waggle of her eyebrows, before turning and walking towards the office with an exaggerated swagger.

_"Ohhhhhhhh!"_ Amanda dropped her head back and laughed, delighted to see her friend so happy, "That's what I like to hear!"

Olivia glanced back and grinned at Amanda before heading into her office to get some work done.

* * *

Noah looked around the Lincoln Centre lobby excitedly, "Rafa, we're going to the ballet!" He gasped and held on to his jacket, gazing up at the huge windows in awe as Barba paid for some tickets and then reached out to take his hand.

"It's something we can enjoy together, I've got to admit I'm glad you've passed through your baseball phase…baseball and I are not friends!" He smiled at Noah and the boy laughed.

"We could still go to games though?" Noah checked with a grin.

"You, me and your mom?" Barba proposed and Noah nodded happily. "You'll be surprised what I could be convinced to do in such excellent company, just please don't try to feed me one of those dreadful 'hotdog' atrocities!"

Noah laughed, "Uncle Rafa, I mean _Rafa,_ you're funny!"

"You can call me whatever you want, you know? I really don't mind, whatever _you_ feel comfortable with," Barba dropped down on one knee next to Noah and unzipped his jacket now that they were in the warm hallway.

Noah smiled and nodded at his friend, "I get that, I do. I just…mom is right…you aren't her brother. Not even a pretend one."

Barba pulled a disgusted face, "Decidedly _not."_

Noah laughed, "You love my mom?"

Barba looked earnest now, he suspected that Noah might have more questions when they were alone. "I do, I love your mom very much."

"But you left her and made her sad?" He frowned a little.

"I don't know what to say to that, Noah," Barba said regretfully and rested his hand on the boy's shoulder, "…apart from telling you that I am very sorry and swearing that I really did believe that leaving would be best for you and your mom. I didn't know, or I didn't think…it never even occurred to me that my leaving would hurt you and your mom as much as it hurt me."

Noah frowned and nodded thoughtfully, "And you didn't think to ask mom? To check?"

Barba chuckled humorlessly, "Grownups get very silly about that sort of thing…it seems so simple now that you say that, but at the time asking your mom didn't feel like a possibility."

"But now you're going to stay? No take-backs?" Noah confirmed.

"Now I'm going to stay," Barba promised. "Then eventually I will move back to New York and we will all be together. Even after you've all grown up, left for college and maybe even started a family of your own…I will _always_ be there, right there with your mom, forever."

Noah smiled, "Forever?"

"Until we're really _really_ old…" Barba added.

"Until, like, _50_?" Noah asked in awe.

Barba laughed and rolled his eyes, "How old do you think we are?"

Noah shrugged.

"Even until 80…or 90!" Barba said and Noah gasped.

"That really is forever!" He laughed as though 80 or 90 was a mythical age that is only ever reached in storybooks.

Barba smirked and shook his head, then stood and held out his hand, "Shall we go to see the dancing while I still have my relative youth?"

Noah smiled and slipped his hand into Barba's, "Sure, Rafa…can I have ice-cream?"

* * *

Olivia poured them both a glass of wine and smiled silently at Barba as her son chatted a little breathlessly about their afternoon at the ballet. He was so happy and excited, but she was sure that was equally about the ballet and his companion. Every other sentence started with 'Rafa said…' this or 'Then Rafa…' did that.

During a brief lull, Barba smiled at Noah, "Maybe next time _you_ could go to the office and do some work while I take your mom on a date?"

Noah grinned, "I can't do my mom's job!" He stated as though he thought Barba was really silly.

Barba gasped and opened his mouth in exaggerated shock, _"Really?_ And here was I thinking you had got so big while I was away; I felt sure you were in work by now!"

Noah laughed loudly, "Rafa! I'm still at _school!"_

Barba gasped again, _"Really?_ Well, silly me..."

"You could still take mom out though - Lucy could look after me, or maybe Uncle Sonny!" Noah suggested helpfully.

"Now that is a _really_ good idea," Barba said smirking at Olivia. "Why didn't I think of that?"

Olivia grinned at Barba.

"Are you going to kiss?" Noah asked with curiosity.

Olivia smiled and bit her lip, looking at Barba and then back at her son, dying to watch him handle this one.

"I think we are, quite a bit actually..." Barba nodded and then leaned forward regarding Noah seriously. The corner of his mouth turned up in a half-smile, "Do you think you would mind that?"

Noah laughed, _"Ewwww!" _The boy smiled at his mom and then back at Barba. "No, I guess not, but then you know that _definitely_ means that you have to get married, right?"

Barba smiled at Olivia, who looked a little flushed now, and then back at her son, "Is _that_ what it means?"

Noah nodded confidently, "Sure, that's what Catalina told me at school."

"Well, then I guess I'll just have to take that into consideration…" Barba nodded with exaggerated contemplation and then leaned over to press his lips chastely to Olivia's.

Noah groaned and covered his face - but then giggled and peaked at them between his fingers, seeing his mom smile broadly against Barba's lips.

"Like that?" Barba asked and turned to grin at Noah.

Noah rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, "JUST like that! Now you _really_ have to get married!"

_TBC…_


	6. Hollywood Endings

_**I've ended this sooner than I'd planned - but writing a story about them travelling around the country up until the election didn't really work anymore. The end section isn't set right now, maybe a little over a week ago - when people like Olivia might have suspected what was coming but before things started to shut down. **_

_**I might start adding to my 'Unexpected...and Ridiculous' series on AOO while I have more time. I've made 'Leave Your Peruke On' the first in a series of random standalone Barson stories that place Rafael and Olivia in unexpected situations. They will be in character and not AU, just funny and slightly quixotic ways for our duo to come to their senses **__**\- for example, the next one will se****e Rafael on a squad night out to the theatre, Rocky Horror...in fancy dress!**_

_**I'll upload them on here as separate stand-alone stories.**_

* * *

By Sunday evening it felt like Barba had been staying with them for weeks. They had cleaned up after dinner and he sat on the couch with his feet up, Olivia lying between his legs with her feet curled behind her and head resting on his chest

Noah was sat on the floor leaning against the front of the couch playing with a K'nex kit while half-watching 'An Affair to Remember' on TV.

"They didn't even exchange numbers…" Noah pointed out and rolled his eyes.

Olivia grinned, "They probably didn't even have telephones back then, Noah."

Noah turned and looked back up at his mom with confusion and horror, "Not even cell phones?"

Barba laughed and buried his face in Olivia's hair.

"Why is that funny?" Noah asked a little indignantly.

"Baby, Rafa and I didn't even have cell phones until we were in our 20s - they weren't even _invented_ until after we were born," Olivia smiled at him.

Noah's eyes widened, "How did you talk to people?"

"Erm, landlines…face to face conversation…" Barba teasingly gasped and then waggled his eyebrows.

"Imagine, Noah, Rafa without a cellphone!" Olivia joked.

"Hey, that thing is predominantly a professional tool, I've hardly even _looked_ at it this weekend!" Barba protested.

Olivia smiled and turned to kiss his neck, "I know, Rafa…"

Noah watched them interact, rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and then turned back toward the TV to hide the genuine smile on his face. He had missed his Uncle Rafa, but more than anything he had missed how happy his mom had been when he was around. Not only happy but relaxed. He couldn't have put it into words if he had been asked, but Noah mostly relished the blissful calm that had descended over his home.

He stopped playing for a few minutes and watched the movie, "She's not going to turn up, something is going to go wrong…" he commented as though they were watching a thriller.

Olivia smiled and turned to kiss Barba's bicep as she watched both the movie and her son.

"I don't want to go…" Barba murmured softly into her ear, quiet enough for Noah not to even notice as tears sprung to Olivia's eyes.

She nodded and pressed her lips to his skin again more firmly, wrapping her arms over his as they tightened around her waist. She turned to whisper into his ear, "Next weekend?"

He was silent for a few seconds and then lifted his hand to stroke over her hair, "I have a meeting with some local agents on Saturday, I wish I could…"

Olivia let out a breath and caught his hand, pressing her lips to his palm.

"This is going to be hard," he closed his eyes, "not seeing you."

She nodded, "We can FaceTime every day - message and talk on the phone as well."

"When _are_ you visiting again, Rafa?" Noah asked from the floor, obviously listening to their slightly louder conversation now.

Barba sighed, "Maybe…" he shook his head, "…no _definitely_ two weeks, I'll make that work. If I arrive on Friday do you think it would be okay if I took your mom out on our date?"

Noah smiled at his mom, "Sure. Then we can all hang out on Saturday?"

"And Sunday," Barba added.

"It's not long enough," Noah frowned and pouted a little.

"Hey Noah, be nice to Rafa, he has made important promises to people and he's trying his best not to let anyone down…you understand that right?" Olivia pointed out firmly.

Noah nodded and then smiled a little unhappily, "I know, but it's been so long...he only just came home and now he's leaving again."

Olivia felt exactly the same but knew that she needed to reassure her son. "At least we know he'll be back," she encouraged, "…we can put it in our diaries and be excited, look forward to seeing him again rather than sad that he isn't here. _And,"_ she continued, "these next few months will teach us to be patient and even more grateful when Rafa really comes home to us."

Barba tightened his arms around her and leaned to kiss Olivia's shoulder.

"I want to stay with you and your mom more than anything, Noah, but I did make promises…and you know how important it is to keep promises right?" Barba explained and leaned to run his hand over Noah's head.

Noah rolled his eyes, "Sure, Rafa, I guess…" he conceded reluctantly. He looked back at the TV, "They end up together in the end right? Just like you and mom?"

Barba nodded, "Hollywood Happy Ending, Mijo," he assured with a smile and then kissed Olivia's temple.

* * *

"I don't care what I told Noah," Olivia pouted a little as she lay naked over Barba's warm body, their breathing only just returning to normal, "I'm _not_ letting you leave this bed."

He laughed sadly and peppered kisses across her forehead, "I wish it were that easy, mi amor."

She sighed and turned to kiss his chest, "Every night at bedtime, no matter how tired we are…"

_"FaceTime,"_ Barba assured.

"Even if it's just to say we're too tired and goodnight, I want your face to be the last face I see every night," she told him firmly.

"Every night," he swore, the hand wrapped around her waist slid down to rest on her hip. "Although I can't imagine being too tired to talk to you, you always make me feel better, no matter how tired I am. We could FaceTime in bed, then if one of us falls asleep the other can end the call?"

Olivia laughed softly, "I like that, no naughty business though - I know it's just us, but I don't trust the internet."

Barba laughed and nuzzled against her neck, "I love that your mind went straight there anyway."

She slapped his chest lightly, "Years of waiting, Rafa…four nights is not enough."

Barba turned so they were facing each other on their sides, their legs tangled and hands linked between them, he lifted one of her hands and kissed her palm. "A few months, mi alma, then I can be here as often as you want."

"Every night," she reassured and then leaned in to bury her face in Rafael's neck and breathe in his scent, her lips trails softly over his skin.

"What do you want to do on our date?" Barba asked softly, wanting to focus on his return rather than departure.

She smiled and nuzzled against him, "I want to ask 'Manda or Sonny to take Noah for a sleepover, go eat at Forlini's, talk, laugh, say all the things I used to be thinking whenever I met you there...but was too afraid to say out loud, then come home and make love _all_ night."

Barba laughed softly, "You have high expectations, Liv, I'm not sure I'm up to _all_ night anymore."

Her hand slid down to wrap around his quickly responding length, "All evidence points to the contrary, counsellor, and you know how much I appreciate a _solid_ case."

He chuckled at her awful joke, then rolled onto his back as Olivia straddled his waist - her hair curtained each side of her face and she smiled down at him adoringly.

"Fuck, you're breathtakingly beautiful…" Barba whispered with awe and reached up to comb his fingers into her hair.

"Your biased," she laughed and then bit her lip as she scanned over him hungrily.

Barba shook his head, "That is not an opinion, Liv, I'll find a judge to back me up…that is an _objective_ fact."

She leaned down to kiss him, "You don't need to build your case, _Barba,"_ she laughed against his lips, "…the only opinion I care about is yours."

* * *

Olivia looked out of the window onto the dark city and couldn't help but feel that the streets seemed unusually quiet. She might be imagining it, she thought and then let out a long sigh.

They had to be careful right now, things had started to be rolled back at the station already. Investigations would go ahead as always but precautions had started to be put into place and, in line with the slightly quieter streets, even the levels of reported crime had started to drop a little.

She took a long sip on her drink and closed her eyes.

She had assured Noah that he didn't need to worry and now she needed to remind herself of that. If only she didn't feel as though she was missing a limb.

Olivia suspected that flights would soon be restricted and while she intellectually knew how important that would be for public safety she couldn't help but find her mind focusing on one thing. Florida was too far away…a few blocks would have seemed too far away right now. While just last month travelling around had seemed like a good temporary solution, now she just needed it to be over.

She wanted him home.

A couple of minutes passed by in quiet thought as Olivia genuinely tried to coach herself through her frustrations. Noah was getting old enough to see through her if she pretended to be okay - she needed to focus on the positives for his benefit.

She just needed a moment to remind herself what those were.

The knock startled her from her thoughts and she frowned toward the door in confusion. Sighing heavily she put down her drink and dragged herself unenthusiastically to the door, opening it and then blinking as she tried to process what she was seeing.

"I know that we talked about it and I know that we decided it was unnecessary. That we didn't need to overreact...and I also know that I should have spoken to you first, but I just…" Barba started and then was cut off when Olivia flung herself into his arms tearfully and buried her face into his shoulder.

"You came home," she smiled and kissed his neck, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent.

"I know we said that quitting my job was stupid, that we should be level-headed and…" He started again, holding her close and combing his fingers into her hair.

"Forget _everything_ we said, let's be foolish idiots. God, I've missed you!" Olivia laughed happily.

Barba grinned and nuzzled against her as he directed her to step back into her apartment.

"I've missed you too, both of you. I sat down with Lizzie last night and talked it through. I'm not catastrophizing, but at best transport is going to be a nightmare over the coming weeks and months..and I couldn't even bear the thought of being away from you and Noah for unknown periods of time." He turned and leaned her against the wall, kissing her lightly on the lips and smiling. "Our plans worked for me before…but now I'm putting you guys first."

Olivia looked down at the four bags just outside her doorway. "Staying a while?" She asked with a smile.

He tilted his head, "Well, I've been a little impulsive…I think I'm unemployed and homeless."

Olivia pouted a little at him in mock sympathy, "Poor baby..." she smiled and ran her hand down the side of his face.

"Do you think you and Noah could put up with me for a while?" He asked with a smirk.

Olivia teasingly sighed, grinned and rolled her eyes…then moved to pick up two of his bags and usher him inside.

They locked up and then walked his bags through to her bedroom, putting them on the floor near to her closet before turning and wrapping their arms around each other's waists. Their foreheads connected and they both let out a long sigh, beaming at each other in relief.

"We don't know what will happen, it's early days…" Olivia warned.

"I'm here," he assured simply.

She nodded and closed her eyes, just revelling in his sudden and unexpected presence. "Noah is going to be so excited," she added.

"I thought his mom might be a little eager to see me as well," he teased.

Olivia laughed and kissed him as a tear escaped down her cheek, "You have no idea, Rafa. Suddenly everything else feels a little less daunting."

**_THE END_**


End file.
